Mondays are always full of anxiety.
Last Monday I was feeling it bad at work. I let myself overthink and am too hard on myself when I think I’m getting nowhere and not improving.
Tuesday I was doing alright, but got sick in a matter of hours.
Wednesday, I had no choice but to call in sick and force my ass to sleep. I also had to cancel dinner plans with some good friends. 😦
Thursday, I had to cancel lunch plans with Marty and try my best to catch up on work. Then rush home to pack and practice my performance for the next day.
Friday, I was anxious again but because I was super nervous about performing in front of our office for our holiday party.. I couldn’t fully enjoy myself or drink as much as I wanted cause my stomach was in knots. But I did it. Then I started to enjoy myself, but shortly had to race to concord so me and nana could head to LA.
Friday night, I couldn’t sleep because I started to feel anxious again. Overthinking work and what my coworkers thought about me. Then I got angry at myself for being so weak.. and couldn’t sleep more.
Then it was time for Disneyland and I actually did enjoy myself. I haven’t been there with my family since we were kicked out when I was a kid.. but now I think Disneyland with family has redeemed itself. My parents actually went on most rides with us which was super cute. 🙂 and we got a ton of rides down. Not to mention great photos. I even got to see baby have fun, but only because I was playing with him (he’s still too young for Disneyland). But yeah. I was happy and super grateful for everyone there especially my sister in law who led us.
So yes.. I did have an up this week.
Sunday, my family and I were completely lazy and lounged around. We had a BBQ and had a REAL kids party. We had a piñata and played limbo. It was silly but a weekend to remember forever..
Anyway it’s back to Monday and I’m back to my anxious self. But I need to remember the positive things in life. Like my family, Matthew, and everything to be grateful for.
Matthew has been wonderful as well. He took care of me when sick, bought me a cat coloring book because I’ve been so anxious, and devoted a whole weekend to my family. I’m thankful for him.
I’m thankful for my family who always take care of me. And thankful for the job I have.
I just need to keep my head up and stay motivated.