One of my main goals in life is to build better relationships. In the past few months I felt pretty distant from everyone and forgot what it was like to interact with friends and family. I have been really trying lately though. I bought a plane ticket to spend quality time with Armi in July and I made myself go to Fanime.

Fanime this year was actually one of my favorite cons. Matthew and I only went for two nights (back and forth from home) to see friends and to party. Seeing everyone warmed my heart and made me realized I have been friend deprived for too long.

I also felt very appreciated.. So many people had things to say about me, good things! Chris told people we had just met that Matthew and I were the nicest people he knows. Priscilla was so happy that I had her and her bf Andrew tag along with us all Saturday night. Lauren explained to me that she was thankful that we met up at the Perfume concert months ago, because it was her all time favorite concert and was happy that it was with us. :’)

Adrian told me how he’s so happy that Matthew and I are together and we were a perfect match. Dennis wanted to see me as much as I wanted to see him, so he set an event on fb messenger to meet up at 11pm on Saturday to take a shot together. So when it came to 11pm he ran to the room where I was and poured me a shot. :’) And of course Josh who was straight up with me and said “You’re really insecure”. My face was like. O.O !! Then he told me I didn’t realize how “gorgeous” I am.

Hanging out with all these people made me feel good inside.. A lot of times I think people don’t care about me, but for them to say those things to my face made me feel truly appreciated and makes me want to work on my relationships with people. I want to be a better friend, coworker, sister, and daughter.

On Monday, I got to spend quality time with my family and it was a fun spontaneous day. My dad made us filipino food and we laid out blankets and chairs and caught up. We also played volleyball! My dad totally ate shit! haha! Can’t believe he’s turning 60 this year! Seeing my mom made me happy too cause she was playing with Luca and chasing him around trying to feed him. It was nice seeing Faye eat again (she was sick for 3 weeks and barely ate). Johnana too, she’s always super positive and full of energy. I look up to the both of the them and always wish I could open up to them more.

Today, I went on a spontaneous trip with my coworkers Johanna and Chris to Fuji’s. Think I learned more about them.. but I feel a bit more comfortable with them. I also realized that I appreciate Cindy; she teaches me to be patient and not to be a nosey person like I usually am! LOL

There’s a lot of things I need to work on.. mostly my insecurities and escaping my non-existent depression. But keeping healthy relationships is the only way for me to keep sane.



March Madness

Well.. hello there.

March was a hell of a month and I was so glad it was over. Basically my social life was put on hold. Never ever ever decide to join a month walking spree challenge. It ruined my life and I was obsessed with walking for the whole 31 days. I walked 8-10 miles a day.

I walked to bart (2 miles), worked, ran 2-3 miles during lunch, then walked more when I got home. I haven’t been able to sit down on the couch and relax at all.. I literally watched tv while walking. LOL it sounds so stupid, but it was my department versus another department and I really couldn’t let my team members down..

Long story short.. our team won by a landslide and the other team decided to be shady and quit the last week of the month. Never again.. But I got free breakfast, free lunch, and bragging rights out of it? And well.. closer to my teammates. Our hikes were fun. 😀

Screen Shot 2017-04-11 at 10.23.31 PMAt the end of the month, my family and I went on a cruise. I mean my WHOLE family; it was a Merino Family reunion. :3 I had custom shirts made for everyone! 64 people came!

It was a fun trip, but I really did not like being on a ship.. Sea sickness is a real thing. I also got sick on the 2nd day (which also happened to be my first day free from the challenge). My immediate family calls me patient zero because Matthew, my dad, both my sisters, my brother in law, Kurt, and baby got sick!

I was sick for a week after. :/ Now I have this annoying cough. Anyway, the trip was fun. Mexico was the best part because Matty and I went zip lining. A vlog will come eventually… Speaking of vlogs, I finally put out my Korea vlog. Not my best work, but I wanted to get it over with.

Umm umm.. I’ve been working overtime. So exhausting! Not to mention I’m a back up for a co-worker for 2 weeks. It’s a ton of work, 3x my workload. But when my co-worker is out that’s when I learn the most and improve on my time management skills.

Tomorrow night I leave for Indio for Coachella. It’s not the best line up, but it’s still an experience right? We’re camping and man.. I don’t know if I’m going to be happy. It’s going to be hot as fuck and I spent a shit load of money. So much that I did NOT buy Coachella outfits.. But I’ll try to make the best of the trip as long as we have a cool tent and tasty beer.

Oh! I am also blonde again.. Matthew and I bleached it ourselves, because none of the salons were open when I was available and it was too expensive. I usually get it done at a beauty school first and then bleach it more later on.. but I felt “experienced” enough. I’ve bleached my hair 3 times in the last 4 days.. SO NOT HEALTHY. But I did not want to walk around with orange and yellow hair. My coworker said it was blorange today. HAHA.

Anywho.. It’s blonde and ready to go for Coachella (not the reason why I dyed it). I forget how many double looks I get. I’ve been getting a ton from people in the office . I don’t like the attention. Especially cause my hair wasn’t fully done. -__-

But yeah.. It’s nice to blog. I need to get back into posting polaroids again and maybe yelp (nawwww). We’ll see what happens. I just want to relax.

Screen Shot 2017-04-11 at 10.41.42 PM


This weekend all I have eaten was Korean food!

Friday was Chrissean’s birthday so after work Matty, Brye, Mo, and I went to Uber to hang out and then off to this Korean restaurant. It was nice seeing everyone. I got to see people I don’t usually see like Matteo, Priscilla, Harumi, and Irene so it was fun catching up. Oh F4 was there too. They’re fun people.

Matthew and I didn’t want to club (we’re not club people) so we just went home and did adult things.. aka unwrap our new couch. Yep.. Dropping monies on furniture is the way to go.

On Saturday I woke up pretty grumpy, cause I spend a lot of time cleaning while Matthew sleeps in til 1. So he helped me out when he woke up and then I ended up taking a nap for an hour or so. I was feeling kind of sick after eating the Korean food so I just laid on the couch.

Then later on we went to Porno Palace to eat more Korean food for Jess’ birthday. It’s always nice seeing Jess and Malloy. I definitely feel closer to Jess. She’s cool people. Then Matthew and I split ways.

Sunday- I went home to visit my parents and then to my sister’s to play with baby and watch the super bowl. I was still feeling a bit nauseous so I couldn’t eat much. :/

It’s Monday and it wasn’t so bad. With my manager gone, I’m not doing hella random jobs and I get a lot done. I feel a lot more useful that way. It also good to have Cindy there everyday. She really gets me through my day. She listens to all my rants, me complain because I’m hungry- but I’m fat, and answers all my questions. I don’t know what I’d do without her. She’s is truly my best friend at work. hahah

Uhh.. I’m hoping for a relaxing week again. My boss comes back tomorrow I think? Ahhh and I’m doing Insanity with my coworkers this week again. Need to lose this belly fat before the cruise!

Anywhooooooo… This Tokyo vlog will never get done. 😛

Tokyo Vlog

Throwing it out the window cause I don’t want to look at it anymore. The past two weeks have drained me with always playing catch up at work to dieting/working out early mornings.

My brain won’t stop talking to me either. I need a staycation. I feel anxious for no reason at all. >.<


Finally working on my Tokyo Vlog.. The last couple of days have been busy and so I haven’t had time to start it.

Matty and I had dinner plans with Molly and John. We had Burma superstar and caught up. Molly and I have really been friends for 20 years.. We only see each other like 3 times a year, but it’s always really nice to catch up!

The furniture Matthew and I ordered came! We switched out one of our cube shelves for a small one and then bought a large L-shaped table. 😀 That way we have space to work on our videos. But yes.. The table is perfect! And we’re buying another monitor so we have the whole set up.

I had beer club at work and I was drunk and super confident. I bragged about being good at BP and then lost by a cup. HAHA. That humbled me. Then on the way home I met some deaf students and got to courage to talked to them. One them said I looked familiar.. and I was like.. must be a family member of mine. But then 5 minutes later she said she saw me on YouTube. O.o I was like no way…

I was quite happy on the way home and it made feel less shitty about my busy days at work. Someone actually recognized me!

Work is meh. But afterwards, I went to Uber and had a few drinks with Matty. Later we met up with Brye, Emma, and xchrissean. We went to this AYCE and drink Sushi place with Brye’s friends. They were all pretty cool and I met some new friends. Young, new friends. We drank our monies worth and came back home where I vomitted sushi bits. 😀

Matty and I went to China town for Chinese New Years, but we’re pretty sure we missed all the excitement. We still took a ton of cool photos. I got to use my Chinese New Year film. 😀 Then we walked down to the Ferry Building and ate at Gotts. We sat outside and saw protesters and police action. Trump has put a ban on refugees entering the US from 7 middle-eastern countries. T.T So it has been crazy this weekend.

But yeah. Then Matthew said he has never taken the Ferry so I decided to take him. 😀 It was fun and super beautiful. We got back home and had dinner with Brye and Emma. They decided to sleep over again so we watched La La Land and Dumb and Dumber. We also wore beauty face masks. I literally have 100- might as well use them!

I went grocery shopping and meal prepped for the whole week. >.< Yeah… Two more months til my cruise so I need to get rid of this belly. T.T Matthew and I also finished "The New Edition Story"; so good. Now.. I'm just sitting here supposed to be working on my vlog. I always get sidetracked.

I never fail at giving into distractions and procrastination!

Hi 2016!

9 days late…

It is 9:24pm and I’m attempting to organize my vacation footage. I probably have like 300+ and I’m not about that life right now.

Surprisingly I have energy at the moment, but man you should have seen me at work today! It was a real struggle to keep my eyes open. I’m part jetlagged and part tired from 2 weeks of vacation. Hopping back into work mode is difficult too. I am still trying my best at work tho! I don’t want to fall behind nor have some pick up my slack.

Umm.. updates. I haven’t been blogging much! I have a personal physical journal now and have no need to write entries in here anymore. Although.. it is a lot more easier to type what I think and I can post media. hmm.. well idk. might downgrade this journal. It’s not like anyone reads it, I don’t share it, and I’d be even more embarrassed if someone told me they actually read it. I don’t like the attention, but at the same time I like putting my thoughts out there.

Anywho.. blahhhh i don’t want to edit my vlogs. -__-

Kay. back to work.

Before 2016 Ends

Seems like everyone is having a bad year. I did too, but we are so close to 2017 and I’m in Japan so it’s daijoubu.

I usually hate the phrase “New year, new me”, but I already set aside some goals for the new year to come. I didn’t originally plan to make goals, but after this month of disappointment I thought I’d better myself after my vacation, which happens to be a new year.

Some goals:

-Spend more time with Family. Actually be present when I am with them

-Eat healthy (I never eat vegetables…)

-Exercise! – Winter got me so lazy and I have no energy

-Read more!

-Stay organized


I’m keeping my goals list pretty short. No need to put pressure on myself. I tend to do that and it basically fucked up my whole year. Being unemployed for 6 months was the start of it and then as the months went on, I got anxious every once in a while. Matthew has been one of my biggest supporters; he even bought me a few books on treating my anxiety for Christmas. So thoughtful!

But yeah. Here’s to me! After this vacation, I’m going home with a positive mind.

Thanks for reading – a Christmas will soon come (hopefully).